Friday, December 2, 2011

i am irrational and emotional at 40 weeks of pregnancy

who knew??  not me....i wasn't still pregnant with jude at this point.  jude came a week early (he is very type-A like his mother - actually he makes me look normal).  but this baby is in no hurry (maybe he's greg's prototype) despite my urgent pleas for him to come quickly.  maybe he's trying to give us more time to come up with his name since we're struggling so much with that.

regardless, i am still pregnant (even though I'm not technically due until monday), and i have made many irrational decisions in this past week....i was completely normal until we passed the day that he should have arrived on jude's time table.  feeling huge and unattractive, i went to get my hair cut only to leave feeling even more unattractive and still huge.  i was on the verge of tears, but didn't let myself go there.  then, today i was fed up by everyone's comments about jude's hair needing to be cut and time to get rid of the curls, etc, that i caved in to the opinion of others and cut his hair myself in a rash moment this morning.  then i sat on the floor and cried.  i butchered it (see exhibit below) - and completely cut off all his curls except two troll-like ones above each ear.  i didn't mean to cut off all the curls - i was trying to just clean it up to get people off my back, but i've lost my baby's curls and at the moment it seemed like life was an utter loss.  my friend, mimi, called to tell me not to make any more major decisions between now and baby.  good advice.  i'm not even sure i should leave the house.   i didn't experience this craziness with jude because he came earlier than i expected.  i'm ready to have this baby - to be able to go running, sleep on my stomach, drink caffeinated coffee, sit on the floor, have a good glass of wine, and be normal once more (at least as normal as you can be when sleep deprived).



so i'm in the business of cheering myself up now - after the disastrous haircut.  so i'm watching old jude videos and thought i'd share a few of my favorites.

Reading Jude's favorite book in September (he has subsequently thrown it into the toilet, so it hasn't been read now in quite some time).  Please ignore my early morning pregnant look.

The hard thing about Jude learning to verbally say please along with the sign language is that it is so dang cute, i think i might give him a knife if he asked for it with a please.



New words from October.  You only need to watch the first 30 seconds or so - I wasn't sure how to shorten it:




And lastly, Jude riding his favorite toy:  his radio flyer scooter which he rides all over our house and outside.  I'm mainly posting this because I get to watch his curls and i miss them so much.

4 comments:

the cuthberts said...

hang in there ginger! I was there just a couple weeks ago--but alas, it's so worth it. Now I'm just post baby and feeling huge and making irrational sleep deprived decisions:) Cant wait to hear about your new little one!

Sarah said...

Well that does sound completely irrational, but I get it! As for his hair-- it had to happen and I think he looks great. Truthfully, I am sure you got the comments a lot because he looked like a lovely little girl and now he looks like an adorable boy. Keep cutting his hair yourself--you will save tons of $--I know I do!! :)

Alicia said...

Jude looks so cute with his new cut! I always want to cry every time I cut Jeremiah's too (one time was the day after we brought Gabriella home). But I also know to just give it two weeks and it'll all be okay. Also, you sound just like every other 40 week pregnant girl out there. Jeremiah was a week early too, so when I hit 40 weeks with Gabriella, I was a total mess. I had a major melt down over my toe nails not being painted right - because I had this great vision of having lovely pink toes during labor. So, after a major freak out, I took what little money we had (who needs food anyways), and went and got a pedicure and felt so much better. Incidentally, the midwife actually complimented my toes during delivery so it was all worth it. Now I look back and can't believe I was so worked up over such a non-issue. But everything is a big big deal when a not-so-tiny human is about to leave your body. Hang in there and allow yourself to be a little crazy this week!
Can't wait to hear the news!!!
Much love,
Alicia

Mom said...

Oh, Ginger, I don't know if it's the combination of the Castle Island Hymns music in the background while reading your blog post, with me being a little emotional myself, but that blog post almost made me cry. I've been there-- where I feel like nothing is going exactly quite right. Maybe it's God way of saying, be still, get a good night sleep, and know a huge, long-awaited blessing is coming your way. Our God is good.
Good luck tomorrow. We'll be praying for you.
BTW, Jude looks great. I wouldn't lie to you.